it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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