She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
