fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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