Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
