so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
