If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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