it was like eating out sand paper
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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