I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
i think i just lost a toe
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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