when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
