just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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