Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
