Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
