A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
