Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
