So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
