you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
