I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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