Screwed.edu
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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