My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
she smelled like a LAN party
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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