i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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