sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
