I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize