i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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