ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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