Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
