Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

we dont do blackfin have a good night :)

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(740): View more from Ohio

Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy

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(314): View more from Missouri

So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.

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(207): View more from Maine

Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.

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(315): View more from New York

I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.

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(716): View more from New York

I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.

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(314): View more from Missouri

high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am

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