He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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