Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
did you just send me my own nude
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Someone stole a lamp last night.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
