Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
