Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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