haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
