dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
