I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
