so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
be right there i have to get my cape
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
