So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
