It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
worst night to have a conscience
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
