Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
