Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
