eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize