took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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