spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
