YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
