i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm getting married
To pizza
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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