My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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