He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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