wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
