we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize