"it" just moved
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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