make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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