Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
