Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
