Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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