dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
