Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
