i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
