ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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