I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
