During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
