I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize