Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
